Today's the day....

I should be sleeping right now, gearing up for the big baby eviction that is set to start in 5 hours and 34 minutes.

But I laid in bed for nearly 2 hours and just stared at the shadows on the ceiling.

Praying for a smooth induction and healthy baby.

Crying about the idea that this is the last night its just the two of us in this house (tears of joy mostly, and a little bit of sadness).

Thinking about all the things we need to remember to do or grab on our way out the door in the morning.

Contemplating what I should eat as my "light breakfast".. last meal before mommyhood.

Running through all sorts of possible labor/delivery scenarios in my mind.

I just can't quiet my mind enough to fall asleep.

Andy and I decided we should celebrate our last night pre-parenthood with a lovely dinner, so we went to Carino's - the same place that catered our wedding. It had been a long time since we'd eaten there, and it was sooo yummy. I wish I could have ordered an Italian Margarita, but that's okay. I still very much enjoyed our meal. Andy was so cute.. I love hearing him talk about being excited to meet Camryn. It makes my heart melt to just listen to all the things he's looking forward to, and to imagine what it will be like to see him as a father.

After dinner, we decided to make a quick run to Barnes and Noble to pick up a copy of Baby 411 (the BEST baby care book ever), but they were out. Darn. We ended up getting a Baby's First Years Journal instead. I had high hopes of making our own (and a couple for some friends of ours) and even went so far as buying all the materials I would need.. but after getting so sick, and then having to scrap the studio in favor of a guest room/room for Sydnee, I just never got around to it. Boo. But that's okay. We have this journal now, and I am glad I will have it with us tomorrow so the nurse's can put her footprints directly into it.

Awww, her footprints. Tomorrow. TODAY! Today we will get to have her footprints made. Instead of kicking me in the ribs, I will be able to kiss and tickle her little toes in the real world. Eeep.

I can't believe today is the day.

I can't wait to hold her.

To see who she looks like.. will she have a full head of hair (I'd say yes if heartburn really is any indicator!)? Will she have Mommy's brown eyes, or will Daddy's baby blue's sneak through? Will she have that tell-tale O-Family mouth/smile? Mommy's long fingers? Oh I just can't wait.

Be prepared for some serious photo overload in the coming days!

Which reminds me, I will come back to this blog to post her birth story and a few photos, but that will serve as a closing post for this blog. This blog has chronicled our life trying to get pregnant and our life growing our sweet girl in my belly. But once we become that family of 3, we will be starting a new blog that will be shared with a wider audience (an audience that doesn't need to read about my cervical fluid and stretch-marked boobs).

That blog is here.

See you on the other side!!! :)

5 hrs and 29 minutes til the fun begins.

Fun.

Let's hope so.

T minus 13 hours.

Eeep.

I wanted to change gears for a bit, after being highly emotional all day today.

I wiki'ed "August 26th" to see what kinds of exciting things have happened on that day in history, and what kinds of influential people Camryn will likely share a birthday with.

Here are some fun facts about August 26th.

It is the 238th day of the year (239th in leap years), and there are 127 days remaining before the end of the year.

1858 - First news dispatch by telegraph. (what? no cnn.com?)

1920 - The 19th Amendment to the US Constitution takes effect, giving women the right to vote. (Um, awesome event to share a bday with, Baby Girl!!)

1939 - The first Major League Baseball game is telecast, a doubleheader between the Cincinnati Reds & the Brooklyn Dodgers at Ebbets Field, in Brooklyn, NY. (Your Daddy will like that one, Camy.)

1970 - The new feminist movement, led by Betty Friedan (author of The Feminine Mystique), leads a nation-wide Women's Strike for Equality.

1971 - The US Congress declares Aug 26th as an annual Women's Equality Day. (Rock on!)

1910 - Mother Teresa's Birthday!

1937 - Richard Wayne McIntire - your late great-grandfather's birthday.

Camy, I am trying to convince your great-grandmother to agree to sit and write you a letter about what an amazing man your great-gpa was and all the amazing things he did for the United States Navy. I hope to be able to share that with you soon, and hold on to it for you to read when you are old enough to understand what it means.

2009 - YOU will grace the world with your angelic presence. Hopefully. Being induced at 6am, I am really banking on the idea that you will be born on the 26th and not torture me with a labor lasting into the following day. Go easy on me, sweet girl, mkay?

T minus 18 1/2 hours.

Oh. My. Goodness.

After a week of fluctuating blood pressure readings and a stretch of about 4 1/2 hours yesterday where my BP stayed elevated, our doctor has decided to induce us tomorrow morning at 6am.

Our baby will (likely) be born on Wednesday the 26th of August.

My late grandfather's birthday.

6 days before her due date.

I am blogging today from the rocker in the nursery.

Listening to Sweet Camryn's Lullaby CD that we burned for her over the weekend.

Sitting with the laptop awkwardly balanced on my watermelon belly.. bouncing every few minutes from Camryn's little kicks and punches.

Looking up every so often, at the quote on the wall.. the changing table ready to go.. the chair rail her Daddy installed.. the window treatment her great grandmother got her, and the adorable bear her great grandmother made her.. her name spelled out in blocks on a shelf on the wall...

I am overcome with emotion today.

I am so eager to see her sweet face. To kiss her little head, her chubby cheeks, her tiny fingers and toes.

I am so eager to see her Daddy holding her, cuddling her tiny body in his strong arms.

The same arms that have held me through out this pregnancy, through out all of our hardships and days of worry and fear.

But I am also afraid.

Afraid of how the induction will play out.

Afraid of the transition from pregnancy to motherhood.

Afraid that we are not prepared for this monumental task that has been graciously given to us.

Afraid that we will get her home and not know what to do or where to go from there.

Afraid of how we will take to no longer being the twosome we've been the last 5 years.. now being a family of 3.

I waver back and forth between confidence and doubt, excitement and fear, relief (that the end is near) and mourning (the loss of my baby curves, squirmy movements, quiet moments just between me and the baby, my hands resting on my belly interpreting her movements).

I feel like I have spent so much time complaining about different parts of this pregnancy. Wishing for time to move faster to the end of this journey, the start of the next phase. Will I regret not savoring each moment, each doctor's visit, each hospital admission that ended with us [thankfully] being sent home with a clean bill of health, each ache and pain, each sleepless night....

Will I look back and wish I had made more of an effort to enjoy every little second?

I am so thankful for our sweet miracle.

I truly truly am... but as the hours are counting down, I feel like I have failed her and failed myself by wishing this time away so quickly.

Growing this little human.. its such an amazing process.

We created this little life.

My body has accommodated her growing self.. sometimes handling the process better than others, but regardless of how sick I was... my body held onto her, and managed to nurture this tiny little creature and keep her strong and healthy all this time.

How incredible.

How lucky we are.

And how sad to think that I only have 18 hours left, just her and I.

After that, I have to share her with the world.

I can't wait to introduce her to our loved ones, to watch her grow on the outside, to shape her into who she will become... but I kind of wish I had just a little more time, just me and her.

After all the posts I have written over the last 39 weeks, full of worry and fear and complaints.. I wanted to think of all the things that I am thankful for with this pregnancy (aside from her life, her existance, of course!).

-No stretch marks on the belly! woohoo!

-No hemmorhoids! woohoo!

-No health scares with the baby! woohoo!

-No swelling, no cankles! woohoo!

-No Gestational Diabetes! woohoo!

-No "weight talk" from the doctor! woohoo!

-No Pre-Term Labor scares! woohoo!

As terrible a pregnancy as I've felt like I've had.. there are so many ways it could have been so much worse.

***I walked away from this post before publishing because I couldn't get ahold of my emotions. I'm not going to attempt to pick up where I left off, but I wanted to post this anyway to always remember the flood of emotions I've experienced on this monumental day, this last day before I become a mommy to an outside baby.***

38w4d

See that post title?

Bet you can guess that means I'm still counting up the days/weeks of this pregnancy.. not yet counting up the days/weeks of my baby girl's age.

As the previous post title read, I'm still here, still pregnant.

My last post was Thursday morning.

I was on day 2 of "early labor" but my BP was staying stable.

Around 1pm Thursday that nagging headache started to really bother me, and by 2 I was worried about my BP again so I checked -- 135/99. Crap. Laid down for 30 minutes like the L&D nurse told me to do when I get a xx/90 reading and took it again - 134/90. We called the OB nurse and were told to monitor for 2 hours, checking every 15 minutes or so and if it stays up or gets any higher, I was to call back and go to L&D. My next readings were 137/94, 129/90, 132/83, 133/90, 124/82, 116/80, and 128/82. Since it came back down by the end of the 2 hours, we were told to stay home and keep me off my feet as much as possible.. and of course to continue monitoring (hourly at this point) and call if it spikes again.

Thursday night was rough.. I was exhausted, and still contracting.

I have about 3 contractions an hour most of the day, sometimes a little more, sometimes less.

The thing is, they are not intensifying and they are not speeding up. Who would have ever guessed I would be DESPERATE for my contractions to get worse?! I must be nuts.. because I am desperate.

I did not sleep well Thursday night. Not. At. All.

In fact, I spent a good hour sitting in the nursery, rocking in the glider listening to one of Camryn's lullaby CDs in the middle of the night.

I also spent quite a bit of time just pacing around the house, walking back and forth in our bedroom - amazingly enough, being on my feet felt better than laying in bed.

Yep, its official, I'm nuts.

Friday was pretty terrible.

Pregnancy stuff aside, it was my last day of watching my niece at home.

She starts preschool on Monday and I am going to miss her so much. I know she lives just 2 miles up the road, so I can still see her all the time.. but I just love the time I get to spend with her everyday, and I am so glad I was able to be with her so much during my pregnancy.

She loves my belly.

She comes up to my belly several times through out the day and pats my belly, talks to my belly, kisses my belly, tells my belly "Da da da!" while shaking her finger at the bump... which translates to "Get outta there, baby!", taught to her by me and Andy one day a couple weeks ago. ;) Its so cute!

I wish I would have been able to really enjoy my last full day with her.. go somewhere fun, sing and dance and play all day, laugh and talk and take in every minute.

But I was miserable. All day long.

My head hurt.

My back hurt.

I was contracting all day long.

And by noon my BP was creeping up again.

Her mama came to pick her up early because I really needed to be laying down and keeping my BP out of the danger zone.. and I was so upset (ugh, crying again just writing it).. so upset that I lost that time with her.

I was in touch with the OB nurse a couple times that afternoon and a couple times a trip to L&D was mentioned.. but ultimately my doctor thought it would be best for me to monitor at home until I hit 140/90, both numbers.

As terrible as this sounds, I was so frustrated when they said to stay home and gave me my next set of monitoring instructions.

Like I posted earlier in the week, I do not want to have to have any emergency procedures taken or the health of my daughter to be in any kind of jeopardy -- but when I was going on the 4th full day of contractions, little to no restful sleep, lingering headaches and backaches, and increasing anxiety of my BP fluctuations, the idea of being admitted to L&D again and induced sounded WONDERFUL. I felt like the end of this roller coaster was in sight and I would soon be holding my sweet girl.. and while yes, I was worried about my BP and a little afraid of what it meant, I was anxious to just cross that finish line.

But nope. Here we are.

Even though today has physically been another carbon copy of labor-limbo, emotionally I have been in much better spirits.

We woke up and had breakfast and then Andy offered to take me to Chedd's for lunch.

What? Really? Who *are* you?

Andy never wants to go out to eat anywhere unless a) we are out and about and have no choice, b) we are meeting friends, or c) there is a sporting event on a big screen tv that he can watch.

The fact that none of those 3 criteria applied AND this place is about 40 minutes from home, I was stunned.

And THRILLED.

So off we went.

We took a few belly pics before heading out the door, you know.. just in case. (hahahaha)

This was today:

This was Tuesday (38 wks even)... I feel like I look bigger Tuesday than I did today. Weird.

After a lovely lunch, we headed to Austin Baby to check it out. I have heard a lot about it and have wanted to check it out, but haven't been in the area recently. Well you better believe I was taking full advantage of having Andy out of the house.. and of having the opportunity to walk this baby out in as many air-conditioned places as possible.

From there we met up with his sister to run a few more errands.. despite my exhaustion, I was determined to walk as much as possible today, so I was not about to turn down shopping with my SIL.

When we finally made it back home, Andy decided to hang the new window covering my grandmother bought us for the baby's room. It was delivered yesterday and we thought we better install it now, before the baby comes. (Again, hahaha. Like this baby is ever coming!)

So now I am sitting at home, while Andy is at a Benefit Poker Tournament for a friend of ours... and I have no news.

Everything is the same.

Yo-Yo BP.

Spaced out, mild-moderate contractions.

Blah blah blah.

I'm boring even myself these days, with these repetitive reports.

I do have to say though - its pretty amusing to see all my loved ones on high alert.

If I miss a phone call (you know, because I can only waddle so fast!!), I immediately get a text asking what's going on with baby.

If I call anyone, I am almost always met with "Are you in labor?!" Hey, what happened to "Hello?"

If I so much as blink funny, Andy says "What? What?"

I think if this goes on much longer, I'm gonna start really havin' fun with this at everyone else's expense.

bwahahaha

I'm getting ready to head to bed, which means pace around the house til I'm so tired I can actually lay down without being in so much pain.

But before I go, let me just put this out into the universe--

I have been told that thunderstorms lower barometric pressure, and that some believe that drop in pressure can put women into labor.

We just had a lovely summer storm... this silly little theory better prove to be true!! ;)

Come oooooon, Camy.

Still here. Still Pregnant.

I'm going on 35 hours of sporadic contracting/cramping.

I'm over it, really.

I thought for sure things would get to happenin' yesterday, but no dice.

Thankfully I was able to get some decent sleep last night, where as the night before I was up at least every hour in pain and needing to pee.

I spent the day yesterday trying to find some way to get comfortable.. laying on my left side, laying on my right, laying on my back propped up with pillows, sitting in the recliner.. nothing brought relief.

The only way I was comfortable sitting down was if I was rocking back and forth, but that got old quick.

I spent the majority of the day moving around - sitting to standing, standing to swaying, swaying to walking around, walking around to laying down, laying down to sitting, repeat.

I had no appetite, but periodically force-fed myself just in case that meal might be my last for a little while.

Ha, wishful thinking much?

By about 2pm I was frustrated and emotional..

When Andy got home from work we agreed to go for a walk around the neighborhood in hopes of speeding things up.

The fact that Andy agreed to walk with me without any begging and pleading is HUGE! It so goes against everything I have ever known him for, and I have never in my life been more excited to go for a walk. :)

Believe it or not, rather than kicking things into high gear, there was actually a good hour and a half after the walk that I didn't have a single cramp or contraction.

I only *thought* I was frustrated and emotional earlier in the day -- insert breakdown here.

Once we resigned ourselves to the reality that nothing was going to happen yesterday, we were able to enjoy our dinner and relax for the rest of the evening.

Around 830, the cramps/contrax returned, and so began my little labor-limbo-dance once more - sitting and rocking and walking and swaying and laying and tossing and turning... good times.

When we finally decided to call it a night and try to get some sleep, Andy shocked me for the second time that evening by giving me a wonderful back rub without me even asking! Who is this man?! Rather than try to enjoy a back rub while laying on my side, I sat on the bed and piled a bunch of pillows in front of me to lean on, and Andy sat behind me to rub my back. It was heavenly.

Then off to sleep we were with our silly hope and anticipation that we'd be woken in the night by my water breaking or contrax getting serious. Andy gave Camryn a little pep talk, but apparently she was already sleeping by then... because here we are, still pregnant.

This morning has been much of the same.

Cramps/Contrax.. whatever the heck they are.

Headache.

Stable BP *yay!*.

Crazy amounts of discharge.

Lightning Crotch like you would not believe.

Back pain/pressure.

No baby.

No signs of baby being in any rush to get here.

I do not enjoy Labor Limbo.

I really wish things would just ease up so I can relax, or speed up so we can get this show on the road.

:sigh:

Eventful Morning!!

Oh, Camryn.

What are you doing in there?

We had our 38 week OB check this morning, so let's just start at the very beginning with this story....

All OB checks begin with the weigh-in. Remember last week I gained 3 lbs in 6 days and was not thrilled.. this week, I only gained .4 pounds! Woohoo!!!

Next up is the urine sample.. didn't pee on my hand! Woohoo!

Then the nurse comes in and checks my blood pressure.. while she was putting the cuff on my arm, I told her that we had a momentary BP spike on Saturday. During a yucky headache, I took my BP at home and found it to be 132/95.. but 30 minutes later it was back down in a safer range so I didn't worry about it.

She took my BP and noted that it was 140/90. Crap!

She tested my urine and said there were no proteins, so we'd just have to wait and see what the dr said about the BP.

Nurse left, I assumed the pants-off-sheet-on position and we waited.

And I worried.

Dr came in... asked how I had been feeling, ran through a list of pre-e symptoms to make sure I wasn't experiencing the headaches, blurred vision, etc.. checked my hands and feet for swelling (a little puffy, not "swollen") then gave us a big talk about pre-e and the dangers and what I needed to do to monitor my BP. He wants me to take my BP throughout the day, and if I ever get a reading that is xx/90, I need to wait 1 hr and take it again... if its still over 90, I need to call. If we discover that my BP does not want to come down, we'd have to induce.

::insert major collision of conflicting emotions::

I know I have been encouraging my sweet girl to make her way out of there, I have been anxious to meet her and eager to get this show on the road.. I even had every intention to ask my OB his thoughts on elective inductions at today's appt (that we would have scheduled for the 26th or 27th if he let us), BUT, but... I never wanted things to happen this way. I never wanted to have to *worry* about her or force her out due to medical necessity. So while the idea of meeting her this week sounded exciting, the circumstances surrounding that potential induction were certainly not favorable and very scary.

After chatting for a while about pre-e and BP, he listened to her heart - which still sounded great.

Then he did another internal - 3cm this week (up from 2), and still 80% effaced. Good progress!! He said she was "very very low" and then proceeded to "stretch" me a bit. Not sure exactly what that means, but it was not fun for me.. he explained that sometimes that can trigger contractions, so we'll see what happens. I have had a few mild contractions since then.. but who knows if its because of his "stretching".

To finish up the appt, he asked me to take my BP at 1030 (about an hour after the 140/90 reading) and let them know if it was still elevated... then he sent me to the in-house lab for a "PIH workup" to make sure my platelets weren't low.

We hit the lab, then hit the road.

We went and picked Syd up, came home.. and Syd and I just relaxed a while before getting ready for naptime.

At 1018, Andy called and reminded me to take my BP in a few minutes.

Laid Syd down, took my BP - 148/96. Crap Crap Crap!!!

Called the OB nurse, she said she'd relay the info to the Dr and call me back.

Called Andy, told him what was going on..

Got the call back from the dr - instructed to go to L&D for monitoring.

Called Andy and told him to come back home (he had just gotten to work!)..

Called my sister for her to come pick up Syd..

Completely broke down in a panic.

Andy got home in a hurry, we loaded up and headed up to the hospital..

The whole way there we were going back and forth between worry and excitement...

Worry about my blood pressure and what it might be doing to Camryn (though she's been a wigglin' machine today, so I knew she was fine!!)..

Excitement over the potential that we'd be meeting Camryn sooner than we thought.

Worry about an induction based on medical necessity..

Excitement over the potential that we'd be meeting Camryn sooner than we thought.

Worry about whether or not we were really as ready as we thought we were...

Excitement over the potential.. you get the point.

Somehow my mother (who I had just spoken to!) beat us to the hospital even though I insisted she didn't need to leave work quite yet since we didn't know what was going on...

Got checked in, and sent up to the L&D wing that we are, sadly, all too familiar with.

Our room was AP2, third time we've been in that particular room.

Changed into a gown, gave another sample, strapped on the monitors and BP cuff.. and got cozy.

Camy's heartrate was perfect.

I was showing some little-tiny contractions, and it was interesting to see that these little crampy feelings I've been having for a while now actually show up as little contractions. So everyone who doubted me and said "Oh you'd KNOW if you were having contractions..." - you were WRONG. I knew they meant something, and they do! So HA!

Took my BP.. and guess what.. it was almost perfect. A little elevated (especially compared to my normal BP), but muuuch better than 148/96!

Kept checking my BP every 15 minutes, and while they did stay a bit above "average", they were stable.

UA came back clean.

PIH Blood work came back clean.

So after 2 hours in the hospital, we were sent home.

No pre-e. YAY!

But no baby either. Kinda Boo.

Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful that my health and Camryn's health are not in jeopardy.

I am so glad that we were not having to go the emergency-induction route.

But it was a little frustrating that after so much commotion, we were being sent home with "0 babies" per my discharge paperwork. Zero babies.

So I'm back at home. Putting my feet up. Keeping an eye on my BP (still stable) and hoping Camy decides to come on her own soon.. without complications or worry.

I'm exhausted after today's roller coaster!

How far along?: 38 weeks.

Total weight gain: 44.4 pounds total, a gain of .4 from last week.

How big is baby?: Approx 6.8 lbs, 19 1/2 inches, per babycenter.

Maternity clothes?: Of course. Of course.

Stretch marks?: ::knock knock knock on wood:: I am thinkin' we've dodged the bullet on this one. Still SM-free.

Sleep?: I could use some. Right this minute. In fact, I think I'll take a nap once I post this. I have NOT been sleeping well at night. Its hard to fall asleep, RLS is kickin' my butt.. and once I am zonked, I wake at least every 2 hrs to pee.

Best moment this week?: Hearing that we do not have to worry about pre-e right now. Whew. I was really scared there for a while..

Movement?: This girl is nuts! She doesn't seem to stop. Ever. But I'm lovin' it!

Food cravings?: Grilled Cheese. But not just your run of the mill grilled cheese, anything from this place sounds devine.

Labor signs?: 3 cm, 80% effaced. A few very mild contractions today, a few strong contractions Sunday night.

Belly button in or out?: Out.

What I miss: Still pretty much just missing sleep.

What I'm looking forward to: Meeting Camryn. Any time now. If I am feeling well enough (and my BP cooperates), I will be going to meet up with some pregnant pals tomorrow evening... we'll see.

Milestone: We are in the 2 week final countdown. Wow. Its hard to believe we've already made it this far!! And that we really could be having a baby any day, any minute now.

Tres.

Can you tell I am desperately searching for ways to pass the time on this fine day?

Just wanted to give a little visual proof that when we say we are ready, I really mean it.

We are ready.

One of the final things on our checklist for baby was to pick up our cloth diaper order and get everything prepped before we come home from the hospital. We would have been able to get by if that wasn't checked off the list in time, but I was really hoping we'd be able to complete that task BEFORE coming home because what new first-time mother wants to mess with cycling cloth diapers through the washer and dryer a minimum of 6 times while adjusting to life with their precious newborn baby? Not this one!

So here they are - overnight diapers in the top left corner, diaper covers in the bottom left corner, prefolds in the second section from the left, cloth wipes in the next section, and our NB sposies for those lovely first days of meconium poop and for the first few nights while we're still figuring things out.

See?! I told you!

We really are ready.

We even bought a small CD/clock radio yesterday to put by the rocker so I can play Camryn her sweet lullabies while I rock her to sleep.. and so that I can see what time it is for all these midnight feedings that are in my future.

I sat in her room yesterday, in her rocker, with her Erin Ivey Lullaby CD playing, just singing softly to her.. wondering how long it will be before I can sing to her with her cradled in my arms... wondering if she will love these Erin Ivey songs as much as I do.. wondering if she will find her nursery as soothing and peaceful as I do.. just wondering. And wishing.

Been a while since we had a 2 post day!

Does it count as a "2 post day" when post 1 was posted in the wee hours of the morning? I think so.

Here it is, 3:24pm on August 17.. the day my sister in law has declared will be Camryn's birthday.

She's been saying this for weeks and weeks now. Well, I actually think she started laying odds from day one, but I brushed it off in the beginning and fully expected my child to go past her due date.

But as the summer forged on and I became more and more uncomfortable, I began to not-so-secretly hope for a baby born sometime in the 37-40 week safety zone.

However, I didn't alter my expectations (much), until my 32 week appt when the doctor let us know that Camy was definitely head down and would likely stay that way.

Woohoo! Head down. That's good news. It means she's headed in the right direction (bwahaha, no pun intended, though it did make me chuckle).

Then at my 36 week appt, when we learned that we were already 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced AND that Baby Girl was low enough for the doctor to TOUCH HER HEAD (reiterate: touch. her. head!), my expectations began to shift a bit more.

Our first baby, and I'm already dilating? AND I'm already halfway to full effacement. That's GOTTA mean somethin', no?

One week later.. another centimeter dilated and 80% effaced.. gettin' antsy!

Doc Man said he was very impressed with that 80%. Said that wasn't easy to do, and will probably mean things will move quickly once they actually kick into gear. WOW. Four words stuck in my head, "things will move quickly".

Nurse lady (who we adore) asked us several times if we were sure we were ready.. bags packed? Car seat installed? House ready? Yup, yup, yup. Oooohh.. this is getting exciting.

Then last night's contractions....

Oh boy. Or girl, as the case may be.

There was a good hour and a half last night that I was pumped and SURE that our little love would make her appearance sometime today. I couldn't believe my SIL was going to be right.. but I was so excited!!

Bwahaha.

Not so much.

3:28 pm... not a contraction felt since about 230am.

Water's still in tact.

No signs of imminent labor.

I have had some "lightening crotch" and definite uterine tightening (for lack of a better description), but nothing painful.. nothing time-able.. nothing to lead me to believe I should put the bags in the car now.

I know things can change on a dime, and SIL still has 8 1/2 hours left in the day for her oh-so-sure-of-herself prediction to become a reality, but I'm not holding my breath.

Not practicing my labor breathing either.

We have our next appt bright and early tomorrow morning and I am hope-hope-hoping for more progress. Or better yet.. SO MUCH MORE progress that the dr will joyfully instruct us to go on next door to the L&D wing.

Wouldn't that be lovely?

Lovely.

But not likely.

I think we're in this for the long haul.

You've got about 10 days, Baby Girl, before I start the eviction process.

A letter to my daughter.

Dear Camryn,

Let me go to sleep.

I promise I can be a much better host to you in there if I am well-rested.

And these random contractions?

Not a fan. At all.

Daddy and I went walking today (at the mall.. because it has air conditioner) in an effort to get things moving along. So you need to make up your mind baby girl.. either you agree with us and want to give it the green light, or you don't.

No more of this back and forth stuff.

Contractions coming at random intervals for an hour and then disappearing?

Why? Why are you doing this to me?

Contractions that wake me up from a dead sleep and get my adrenaline pumping and excitement up so I that I can't fall back to sleep even after you've changed your mind and the contractions have subsided?

REALLY?!?

I am exhausted, baby girl.

My back hurts.

My hips hurt.

My head hurts.

Please, if I should be so lucky as to crawl back into bed and fall asleep once more.. let me stay that way for a while.

The next time you feel like turning the contractions back on, let's have it be the real deal? Mmkay?

Whether that happens tomorrow (like your Aunt Amy is CONVINCED of) or next week.. whatever. The next time I have to look at the clock to time the gap between contractions needs to actually MEAN something.

Remember sweet girl, we love you.

I am getting a tad impatient with your indecisiveness, but I still love you more than you'll ever know.

Can't wait to see your sweet face.

Love,

Mommy

37w6d

I can't sleep, so I survey.

How far along?: Thirty. Seven. Weeks. FULL TERM, baby!

Total weight gain: 44 pounds. That's 3 pounds gained in just the last WEEK. Oh. My. Word. 

How big is baby?: Average would be 6 1/3ish pounds, and 19ish inches long. Wonder if Camy is anywhere close to that? Given my weight gain, if I had to venture a guess on her weight, I'd say she's at least 20 lbs by now!

Maternity clothes?: Same as last week.. maternity clothes must be shrinking in the wash. Boo. 

Stretch marks?: We have managed to dodge the stretch mark bullet another week. Yay! ('Cept for the boobies, of course.)

Sleep?: Well, its 11:06 pm on a Tuesday night, and rather than being snuggled up in my bed I am here filling out this weekly survey. What does that tell you about my sleep situation? On top of my insomnia, Baby Girl chilling down low is putting lots-o-pressure on my poor, squished bladder. That means my frequent midnight bathroom runs are even more frequent as of late. Last night's Tee-Tee-Tally? 6 trips to the loo. 

Best moment this week?:  Hmmm.. I guess that would be our breastfeeding class tonight. I didn't know how much I'd learn because I've been reading up a bit and speaking to some BFing Mamas I know.. but I actually learned a lot, and so did Andy. I am so glad we forked over the dough for that class. I feel much more confident in the whole idea now. 

Movement?: Still hosting a dance party for one in there, yes she is. 

Food cravings?: This week's go-to snack has been cinnamon graham crackers dipped in cream cheese. I've had it about 3975 times. Yum, Yum, Yummy. 

Labor signs?: Well, like I said earlier today, we are 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. Since our appt this morning, I have had some spotting and have begun to lose my MP. I can't imagine there would be much more of it left at this point, but just when I think its all gone, I'm surprised again.  Still having random BH contrax a few times a day, and have had 2 instances where my belly has felt very crampy all of the sudden, and I've wondered if those were "real" contractions. The Dr said, though, that if I have to wonder, chances are it was not a contraction. So who knows what's going on.   

Belly button in or out?:  Out. 

What I miss: Right now, my list has been shortened to only include SLEEP. I want to sleeeeep. 

What I'm looking forward to: Other than hopefully meeting Camryn very soon, I am looking forward to picking up our diapers tomorrow and (hopefully) getting them prepped before her arrival.  

Milestone: Full Term.. duh! Have you not been paying attention? I have been doing the Full Term Happy Dance since my 2am trip to the bathroom this morning! :)