New Blog...

I was going to wait until we were actually pregnant to start a family blog. However, our naivety led us to believe it would happen fairly quickly and at this point, I'm ready to have a place (other than the nest) I can go to talk/vent/whine/brag about our adventures in trying to get pregnant. We are still early in the game (Cycle 4) but after educating ourselves on the nitty-gritty fertility details that we were never taught, we now realize it may be a much longer road than we expected. Of course we hope beyond hope it won't be too much longer.. but we are being realistic about our odds. 

We had originally planned to start TTC about 6 months post-wedding. However, the month of the wedding we decided to "not not try" but also not to prevent anything. Silly us, we both got our hopes up as AF was (potentially) approaching, and we were both disappointed when she arrived. Our upset shocked us both, as we had agreed we weren't necessarily trying to get pregnant.  After that, we went back and forth about whether or not we should throw our 6 month timeline out the window. We agreed on a few important things that needed to happen before we were officially TTC, and miraculously (I say "miraculously" because these were tasks/events we'd been waiting/striving for for quite some time at that point!) everything fell into place within weeks of making that agreement. So it was on! We were officially trying. Per the advice of the nesties, I ran out and bought a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility", but I'll admit I hardly skimmed it at that point (taking note of certain signs to look for!). My husband worried about what effect full-fledged charting may have on my sanity/anxiety, so we agreed to "just have fun" the first couple months and see what happened. In the meantime, I used my phone calendar (and sometimes the TCOYF software..shhhhh!) to mark changes in CF to help me pin-point ovulation.. thinking that would do the trick. Well, nothing happened. After the second unsuccessful cycle (yes, I know thats still VERY early!), I felt like I needed to take a more active role in the process, so we decided to try OPK's for Cycle 3. I'm not sure they did much to put me at ease, though. I started using them 2 days before I was suggested to (ya know, just in case), and only got one very faint positive that cycle. When that cycle ended with the (LATE!) arrival of AF, we both agreed it would be a good idea to start completely charting (ie, temping, noting CF and CP). This is our first cycle observing/noting all the fertility signs, and I like feeling like I am in a little bit more control of such an uncontrollable situation. After a week of very low waking temps, I've decided to get in to see my doctor for that "preconception appointment" I've heard so much about. That appointment is next Friday, and I am just hoping to hear the doctor say "All looks well.. you have nothing to worry about... just keep at it and you'll be pregnant before ya know it." I have a few (somewhat valid) fears going into this appointment, and anytime I think about discussing them with someone other than my husband or BFF I get knots in my stomach and my heart starts racing. Its important that I verbalize my concerns to the doctor, so I really hope when the time comes that I have the courage to do so! 

I plan to use this blog primarily as my own way of maintaining some degree of sanity on this emotional roller coaster ride that is TTC. I will update it with any TTC revelations, and when we are so blessed - it will become our pregnancy journal for family and friends. For the time being, this blog will not be shared with our family or non-nestie friends. A select few know that we are TTC and we'd like to keep it that way. Once we get that BFP, all TTC posts may very well be deleted... we'll see. At that point, I don't think I would mind if our loved ones knew what we had gone through trying to get pregnant. But for now, I'd rather not give so many details and be bombarded with TTC questions around every bend. I hope that makes sense....

And I hope to have good news very soon.

CD6 of Cycle 4.