Monday, November 10, 2008

All I wanted was a little Me-Time.

That's all.

I am almost ashamed to even admit this, but I think it may be too funny to pass up.
Keep in mind, as you read this, that I am usually a sensible gal. Also, that I have had a very stressful few months, and that my master bath has been out of commission since February.

I love to take baths.
Long, steaming hot, sometimes with bubbles.. I love baths.
We bought our house in January, ripped up our bathroom in February.
That allowed for 3, maybe 4 baths.
I need baths to stay sane sometimes... even more than I need coffee.

My wonderful, loving husband finished the tile work in our bathroom a couple weeks ago.
Tonight is Monday Night Football (read: hubby not home).
I thought tonight would be the perfect night for getting reacquainted with my old friend, the jacuzzi tub. I've missed him so. (Yes, he's a him).
Sooo.. I stopped for some very unhealthy fast food for dinner on my way home. I watched my DVR'ed Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters, and I went to take my bath. I even skipped my ice cream nightcap for a bath tonight. (That's a huge sacrifice.)
Since the tub hadn't been used in so long, I filled it up with cold water (so as not to waste the hot) and ran the jets for a few minutes... to clean everything out.
Then, very excitedly, I drained the cold and filled the tub with beautiful, wonderful, steaming hot water.
But ya know, that wasn't enough for this epic reunion. I wanted to add some bath salts.
Where, oh where, did the bath salts go?? I couldn't have used them up since February.. that's impossible.. I haven't taken a bath since then. Oh well, these bubbles will do.
Poured me a cap full of bubble bath in the tub, dimmed the lights, and turned the jets on to 15 minutes.
I climbed in and slid down far enough that I was submerged in this wonderfully hot water from the neck down. Leaned my head back on my bath pillow and closed my eyes.
Aaaaahhhhh. This is wonderful. I so love Monday Night Football.
About 13 seconds later, I feel bubbles nearing my mouth.
Opened my eyes.
Sweet Jesus - what in the bloody hell was I thinking????!!!
BUBBLES EVERYWHERE!!!!
And when I say "everywhere", sadly, I am not exaggerating. There is a least a 1 foot wall of bubbles in front of me. Overflowing onto the floor, into the shower pan (since the glass enclosure has not been installed), up the wall.. bubbles. are. everywhere.
I panicked for just a moment, then laughed, then wanted to kick myself in the bum.
I had to have known this would happen.
I did know! In fact, we discussed this just before our first bath in the new house. Bubbles and jets don't mix.. I KNEW THAT!
So, I started draining the tub. 
I had to continue shoveling bubbles into the shower pan, into the sinks, off the floor.. it was a mess.
It took me well over 30 minutes to get the bubbles under control and the tub rinsed free of all bubble residue.
Or so I thought.
I pleaded with God to let there be enough hot (hell, I'd settle for just warm) water left to fill the tub one more time. I got a good 2/3 of the tub full before I ran out of hot water, and I decided that would do. Turned the jets on again... and more bubbles.
It wasn't nearly as catastrophic as my first bubble encounter, but there were definitely bubbles far beyond my comfort level.
I settled in as best I could and tried to enjoy my luke-warm bath. Laughing at myself all the while.

I am such an idiot.
But I am so glad my husband did not return home to find me stark naked wrestling with a mountain (a mountain) of bubbles.
I debated not even telling him about the ordeal, because I know I will never live this down, but his first question upon coming home was, "How was your bath?".
My answer, "Fucking Fantastic!" As he looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, I just busted out laughing. He followed me into the bathroom and found that there were still bubbles standing about 8 inches tall in the shower pan. 
He didn't even have to ask what happened. All he did was laugh. Hysterically, I might add.
As I explained just how bad the bubbles were, I think he was struggling to catch his breath he was laughing so hard.
His only response, "I'm sorry to have missed that."

Yeah, I'm sure you are. 

I'm such an idiot.
I would say to let this be a lesson to you, but I really feel as though I am the only person in the history of the universe dumb enough to make such a mistake. 
What was I thinking?
So much for my wonderful, relaxing bath night.

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