Happy to Report....

I finally had an appointment with my doctor that didn't leave me in tears!
Hooooooray!
Today was my colpo, and everything went really well. Far better than I had prepared myself for, but with the bad news that has been drowning us lately, I have learned that its easier for me to expect the worst and hope for the best. Well.. I finally got something I hoped for! That seems to be a rarity these days and I couldn't be any happier with today's results!
Sooo.. basically she said everything with my cervix looks "pretty normal" (and I didn't ask her to define 'pretty normal' though I debated doing so in my head) and she couldn't even find cells worthy of a biopsy! Wooooohoo! She did say she noticed a few "changes" (again, did not ask for a defintion) but nothing that we need to worry about at this point. She wants me to come back in 6 months for a follow-up pap and --without me even asking-- said that my cervix is no longer cause for postponing pregnancy.
See, my doc and I have seen so much of each other in the last couple months that she now knows me well enough to know that the very first question out of my mouth is always "So what does this mean for us trying to get pregnant?". I don't even have to ask anymore. I think I love her.

I am so far beyond relieved by today's findings, or lack thereof, I suppose. I keep trying to think of words to describe how I feel, and relief is all that comes to mind.. but "relief" just doesn't like an accurate description. There's got to be a better word for this... But I don't care to waste my time thinking of one. I'd rather revel in my happiness for a time.

Soooo... "jacked up cervix" can now be crossed off our list of TTC setbacks. Now we can focus on this thing in my boob. We have our next ultrasound set for December 16 to track what kind of (if any) growth we are dealing with. I'm still not exactly sure why we need to wait 8 weeks just to potentially say "Yep, it is indeed growing, lets get it out of there" when we could just get it out there now and never think about it again. I like the idea of resolving the issue in a way that means it will never need a second thought - not in a way that will require follow-ups every year from now til forever. I mentioned that to Dr. Awesome today and she agrees with me, but she said she can also understand why the surgeon didn't want to rush to surgery over something that is not-cancerous and only about 2cm (according to the biopsy). Ok fine, makes sense.. but come December, I'm asking for the surgery.
Dr. Awesome also said something to the effect of "..And ya know, it wouldn't be the end of the world if you were to accidentally get pregnant before the next ultrasound. Your life wouldn't be in any danger, nor would your baby's, we would just want to monitor you a bit more closely."

Soo.. I plan on discussing the idea of "accidentally" getting pregnant with the hubby. Maybe that would be fun... I mean, come on, all the cool kids do it. My logical brain (which is much much smaller than my emotional one) says to just suck it up and wait 2 more months like we were told, just to be safe and to get the surgery behind us. I think I'll mull it over for a few days (since this cycle is already hopeless) and see which brain wins.