Testing tomorrow...

and I've never been this anxious about it, and this conflicted.
On one hand, I wouldn't be surprised if we were pregnant this go-round, aside from the obvious explanation that we were trying to get KU, but because I think that is the kind of evil sense of humor the universe has sometimes.
Don't get me wrong - we would be ELATED should we be blessed so much - absolutely over-the-moon, jump up and down ELATED.
But now that I have this added concern going on with my ta-ta's, I think it would be a "just my luck" sort of situation if this was our time.
Now, I do realize that chances are this fibroadenoma has been floating around in there for a lot longer than we have been TTC.... but knowing about it now, and wanting to get it the heck out of there, this would be the ONE cycle I would okay with not being successful. I would still be sad, it would hurt just as much as all the other BFN's we've received - but I would have a real, concrete reason to be positive about it. It would give us the chance to gey my body in tip-top shape before pregnancy, and I would be okay with that.

So, every other month before this I was (perhaps selfishly) asking for everyone to hope for our BFP and think good thoughts for us --- and this time around, I have no idea what to hope for myself.