Again, music is my therapy...

LeAnn Rimes

What I Cannot Change

I know what makes me comfortable

And I know what makes me tick

And when I need to get my way

I know how to pour it on thick

Cream and sugar in my coffee

Right away when I awake

I face the day and pray to God

I won't make the same mistakes

All the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change

I will learn to forgive what I cannot change

I will learn to love what I cannot change

But I will change, yeah, I will change

Whatever I, Whenever I can

Yeah I don't know my father

Or my mother well enough

It seems like every time we talk

We can't get passed the little stuff

The pain is self inflicted

I know its not good for my health

But its easier to please the world

Than it is to please myself

All the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change

I will learn to forgive what I cannot change

I will learn to love what I cannot change

But I will change, yeah, I will change

Whatever I, Whenever I can

Well I know I can't care about how much everyone else really feels

I have enough hurt of my own to heal

I will learn to let go what I cannot change

I will learn to forgive what I cannot change

I will learn to love what I cannot change

But I will change, yeah, I will change

Whatever I, Whenever I can

Okay, so I am very close to my mother, so that part doesn't at all apply. 

Actually, I realize I am taking all the lyrics way out of context - but when I heard this song during our lunch today it brought me to tears. 

There isn't much I can change about our situation right now.. and I need to just let it go. 

We know what we need to do, how to get to our destination.. the rest I need to just forgive. 

I cannot change my circumstances, I can only change my perspective on this.. and just as I had started to do last week (the morning before I got the second dreaded phone call) its time I start trying to scale the mountain. 

I can't live in this rut for the next 2+ months. 

Good grief, this blog is getting repetitive. I don't know why anyone would even read it anymore (if in fact, anyone does). 

What a whirlwind of emotion the last 2 weeks have been. 

We should be breaking the cycle now though.. only moving forward. No more surprising setbacks - just forward momentum. Onward towards perfect health, and expanding our family. 

PS - I fell off the wagon. I haven't had a decaf coffee in 5 days.. only full strength. I am starting over tomorrow, though. Promise.